Gross People at the Polling Place

What an awesome freaking night! I waited for an hour and 20 minutes yesterday to vote in a small country church, in Taylors SC. I'm pretty sure that i was one of only a handful of Obama voters there, but then again, who knows... In front of me in line was this massive woman, dripping sweat and loudly telling a story about how she had been mugged by some black men last month. I thought, Oh fuck, we're gonna have to listen to this sweating sack of crap for at least an hour. Thankfully she had someone save her place in line while she plopped down dramatically onto one of the pews occupied mostly by elderly folks.

Then, of course, she started praying, like the way you might "pray were you playing charades and trying really hard for preople to guess what you were doing. Except, she prayed, of course OUTLOUD... about the status of the country, and what the world was coming to and a whole bunch of other crap that i couldn't quite hear. As she prayed she pulled out a few of those offering envelopes and made a little fan to cool herself with, and she sort of rolled her eyes back into her head occassionally and took some deep gasping breaths while clutching at her chest. She was really pouring it on.

I suddenly pictured her as one of those swine in Animal Farm, and I thought I hate this lady and I wish she would drop dead right here. What an awful thought, i told myself. Then i looked around and noticed that there were at least two other people with similar fantasies bearing looks of disgust toward the lady.

We approached the room where we could actually vote! The older woman behind me struck up an enjoyable and appropriate conversation, nothing about politics, and i enjoyed her sing-song southern accent and old people wording. "Well i declare", etc. Then the heaving, self suffocating mass reclaimed her place in line right in front of us. She had on these tight pants, and from the back looked like a melting candle. She announced to the room that 4 years ago when she voted for George Bush she only had to wait for 20 minutes. And that she couldn't believe that so many people were out voting becuase this time ALL the candidates are too liberal.

Right.

I bet she is sweating even more today.